The photograph [that accompanies the piece] is a combination of two black and white film photos. It was taken in the night time in Rome.
Finding interior space
It was 2am when I escaped from my house. My mother was sleeping heavily when I aimlessly walked out the door. I just wanted to go for a walk because all the objects in my room were suffocating my interior space; I needed to sort out my thoughts in a place where I felt free. While I was walking, I saw a sparkling light coming from one street. It was different from all the other streetlights and so my body naturally sat in the corner of that street. I immediately felt inspired and attached to where I was.
My thoughts began...
In the eyes of others, I was born in a wealthy family where everything was given to me. Anxiety was never even contemplated in my childhood until I reached high school. All of a sudden, I was powerless and stressed with school projects, tests, parents' expectations and relationships with my peers. I couldn't find a way to get rid of the irritability and uneasiness feeling that was in my mind all the time. I tried really hard to communicate with myself and that all the pressure was normal and part of teenage life. However, it still didn't work for me. I had to find my personal space in this world of teenagers.
I put my headphones and listened to music while watching the busy but quiet street. Breathing the frosty night air made sense to me. It gave me the feeling of venting. The night actually calmed my disturbed self and gave me a chance to finally have a voice in my thoughts. I was free and strong in that space.
And it was in that moment, in the corner of a Roman street in the middle of the night that I finally found my interior space.
I decided to write a personal journey about that night when I found my personal space.
Written by Cristina W., Year 12 IB English B student